Sorry, I lured you in with an adorable picture of Breezy… this is not about pets. I have nothing thoughtful to say today. I am in agony. My hayfever/allergies have really knocked the crap out of me. The trees and plants are happy as all get out making us mortals absolutely miserable. When I am miserable I want to whine, and can’t really drink wine because I can’t taste it. So here I shall whine… with some of my pet peeves.
WTF…. Pet Peeves
Single ply toilet paper Really? I mean REALLY? What kind of tight wad are you? It’s rough to touch, shreds in an instant and to avoid that later, you have to use so much that the entire roll is gone in three visits. Do you really hate your “bum” that much? Do you really hate my “bum” that much?
And staying with poop. People who do not clean up after their pup when walking in public. Do not let me see you do it, I keep bags in my pocket and I will call you out and embarrass you. For the record, I have forgot a bag on occasion when I thought the pup had already done her business. But you can bet your backside that I go get a bag and then go back to pick that sh!t up.
Cars parked outside the lines on purpose. I do not care if you own a Maserati or Lamborghini if you park the car in a lot or garage, the rules apply to your precious self too. Be careful I don’t see you or I may just park so close to you you will not be able to get in your car.
Sticking with cars & trucks but really not a true pet peeve… Driving a car or truck that are clearly more about the inferior size of a man’s penis than about what he has to haul, carry or transport. A car or truck can not symbolize manhood, only character can do that.
Do not pretend that I am not here.
Bartenders and Waiters that do not make eye contact when they know you are there. Look, I worked as a waiter and as a bartender. Rule #1, ALWAYS know when new folks arrive and even if you are in the weeds, acknowledge then. Looking at your feet or the ceiling to avoid eye contact is a sure way to lose a tip from me. Good thing for you Mr. bartender at Lewis’s…. If I was paying, I would have tipped the bar back because he at least came over and explained, “I am so sorry, I am not a bartender.”
Chewing with one’s mouth open and it is not the visual as I can look away and pretend I am somewhere far, far away. It is the sounds made. Like a cow. The slurp, the slap, the chomp. Oh! Disgusting…and by the way, if you get food stuff in your teeth, excuse yourself from the table and take care of it in private.
Flying Pet Peeves needs an entire section
Unprepared parents with small children, toddlers and/or babies on an airplane
Those same parents that will not buy a seat for a toddler that is clearly too big and/or too old to sit on a lap for more than 5 minutes.
Crowding the gate long before their boarding number is called
Passengers that bring on more than one personal item and one carry on item.
Adding insult to injury, some of those same people that put their carry-on in sideways. and nothing under the seat in front of them.
Armrest hogs and Man-spreading. Period …. done. nothing more needs to be said.
People who demand to go get their bag and have to push and prod through the throngs of passengers to reach said bag. A bag that is all the way in the back of the airplane and they are in row 7. By the way, no one has started exiting yet.
Peeve of all Peeves
People who litter. Of all the peeves in my brain this one really, really gets my goat. DO NOT LITTER! PERIOD. I have confronted litters on several occasions. Usually I pick it up and innocently give it back to them like they dropped it by accident. Then I proclaim, “I do declare (add southern accent), this must have fallen from your pocket or lovely handbag (depending on gender of course). This usually embarasses them and they keep it while their companion laughs at them.
Once I called the president of Williams Industries on a litterer driving a company car. Yes, there was a phone number on his car asking “How is my driving?” So I wanted the president to know and believe it or not, I got through to his executive assistant pool. I explained how this driver threw his McDonald’s bag, wrappers, cup, etc…. out the window when entering the freeway in Chicago. Oh, that did not go well for this guy. I got a letter from the president of the company. Additionally, I got a phone call from the offender’s boss explaining the guy’s punishment. Then the offender himself had to call me to apologize.
Don’t get me started on cigarette butts. Do you know they take seven years to degrade. Did you hear me SEVEN YEARS and in the meantime are sweet smelling and enticing to small animals and birds that eat them and then die of nicotine poisoning.
Lastly, on another occasion I picked up tissues that were being thrown out the driver’s side window while stopped at a traffic light. I got out of my car, picked up the completely gross tissues, walked up to his now rolled up window and politely tapped to get his attention. At which point I threw them in his face and screamed profanities. I scared him so bad, I wonder if he needed some single ply toilet tissue?
What are your pet peeves?
Little BIG Things
And with that…. so I do not appear to be total grump. One of my all time favorite little BIG thing from Amazon.com. No raindrops on roses or warm woollen mittens… just the best rechargeable batteries ever. And I go through batteries…. but not any more as I have these amazing gems.